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About Digital Art / Professional Core Member PeteMale/United States Groups :iconheroinedeathtrap: HeroineDeathtrap
 
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No, this is not about someone swallowing ten thousand coins or jumping on a pogo stick while doing the hula-hoop for three weeks non stop. That kind of stuff happens all the time. What is far more rare and precious is, the worst movie of all times has been uncrowned (literally in this case). That is to say the worst one on the Bmovievillain list and, let’s face it, with a name like Bmovievillain it has to be an from an authentic source.

The former record holder was, ironically, named Treasure of the Four Crowns 3D. It was so low budget that it only had three crowns in it and I only wish that were a joke. Of course Crowns has some stiff competition and it only edged out Warrior Of The Lost World by a whisker. The problem with Warrior was that it was not really even a movie to begin with. It was actually several movies that were never released that had been edited into one incoherent pile of stench.

Now, this film has put both of these movies way back down the list because, compared to it, there is no 1, 2, 3 to 10 on the list of bad movies. What was really so surprising about this film was that it had a good A-List actor in the cast and not when she was in her “down on my luck and that was why I made that porn” phase. In fact, Ming-Na Wen was in between Stargate Universe and Agents of Shield when she found the weekend to make this film. Yes I am guessing it took them a weekend to film it and I also believe that our former voice of Mulan will change her name to “Ming-Naaaahh I Didn’t Make Super Cyclone That Was Some Other Asian Chick You Know We All Look Alike Don’t Look It Up On The Imdb Please.”

True that Super Cyclone was a film made by the all time king of B movies, the production company, The Asylum. Still, the fact is that despite Asylum specializing in getting some A List actors to star in some very low budget films (makes me wonder what kind of dirt they dug up on Danny Trejo) they have produced some films that do look like they cost more than they actually did. Somehow, with Cyclone, I think a first year film student could have done a better job.

This is a movie about a mega storm hitting Los Angeles. Most of the movie was filmed in the desert where everything was bone dry. The sky was always clear and the only rain you see in the entire movie looked like someone letting a garden hose run on the windshield of a car and they could not even afford to get the guy to spray the water with his thumb. I also think they only bothered with that much because a line of the dialogue mentions the rain. You don’t see it before or after that one little line.

The reason why I said it took a weekend to film was because ninety percent of the movie was filmed in an office building that they obviously borrowed for a weekend. This “set” severed to be a military command post, various laboratory’s, a few here and there’s, along with the control center of an off shore oil platform. The film crew obviously had to promise not to move anything around because they did not do much to disguise the fact that it was all in the same building. Oh they did stick a couple of road maps up on the wall for the military command post (and they really did look like fold out maps) scenes and they closed the blinds so you couldn’t see out the windows of the oil rig control room but, that was about it. This, of course, led to some of the funnier scenes like the General telling Ming Na that all the phones were knocked out while you could hear phones ringing over and over in the empty cubicles behind them.

Even when they went outside it did not get much better. Their “Mobile Military Command Post” was a fold out table, with a cammo net thrown over it, and the same two laptops that made up the Military Command Center. Then to make matters worse the scenes were just completely silly. Ming Na and her co-star debate the pro’s and cons of taking the gun away from the man who has the drop on them, while he is standing right in front of them. When they decide to do it they just reach out and take it.

When they decide to send a single plane into the eye of the storm they call in the pilot and he just happens to be out jogging, in a hurricane, wearing a flight suit, for no particular reason. After the General explains to the pilot that he has PTSD but, is going to be sent on this dangerous mission anyway, the pilot salutes and goes back to jogging. Then the guy takes off in his plane and two seconds after you see the plane taking off Ming Na tells us, “ok he’s at the target.” I mean hey, I knew planes were fast but what??? All the aircraft in this movie also have a horrible habit of changing types in mid flight.

I’ve seen fan films better than this one and I hope Asylum did not spend too much money on it. More than the cost of lunch of the cast and crew would have been too much. Now you might say they spent all their money on Ming Na but, I think they spent it all on the Private Detective they hired to find that porno she made back when she really was young and desperate. Now that’s a movie worth seeing. I bet it had better dialogue and plot.

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bmovievillain
Pete
Artist | Professional | Digital Art
United States
Welcome to Bmovievillain's Cliffhangers on Deviant Art. This is where I display most of my works that relate to really bad movies with villains, hero's, and damsels in distress. Everything here is original as this is more a homage to the genre than any specific film. The pictures you see here are called renders. I create them using computer programs, such as Poser, Daz, and a few others. They are not manipulations or photoshops. I create virtual 3 Dimensional models out of wire frame polygons, paint them, and then "snap a picture" of the scene I have created in the virtual computer world. That's what a render is. The models you see here are mostly of real people that I have recreated virtually by free hand and a good old fashioned eye ball.

This page is not for the faint of heart. If you are a minor, are offended by nudity, violence, or computer art then don't bother. If you think that danger and adventure are fun and sexy, then this is page is most likely for you. You can also find a variety of stories here. Most fit into the B Movie genre although a few do not. There is always new material here along with many of my classic pictures from my yahoo days. There is an extensive library so, I hope you enjoy!
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:iconwillfish14:
WillFish14 Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2015
Your gallery continues to be super. Thanks.
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:iconbmovievillain:
bmovievillain Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Wow, thank you, I had not even noticed myself!
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:iconenglishdamsel:
EnglishDamsel Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2015
I just noticed, congratulations on 500,000 pageviews.
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:icondannysuling:
dannysuling Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, I was away for a week and when I returned: Bang! 100 new images from you, some old, some new, some celebratory. And a celebration worth every ounce of bubbly. It's so very interesting to do the inevitable comparisons of platforms, styles, models, etc. My typical approach is to reply with either encomiums or some snarky pun to each image I like, but the onslaught of work was just too overwhelming, and I found myself commenting on only one or two, although each deserved a response from me.

In any case, as always I am looking forward to seeing more of your wonderful work!
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:iconbmovievillain:
bmovievillain Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
They are renders. I make 3D models of people and things, I texture them, then I make them into a 3D environment and "snap a picture" of what I have created. I use several programs to do this but, the final renders are almost always done in Poser.
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:iconlol-derp:
Lol-Derp Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015
hey with what do you create these picture?
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:iconbmovievillain:
bmovievillain Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Yes I not only saw it but, I also replied. I was also not the only one who did. Six months later and the reply is still the same.
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:iconleningrad666:
Leningrad666 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2015
As I noted six months ago, I wish you would get away from the "Perils" theme and instead use your considerable talent to depict slave girls and slave markets in Ancient Greece, Rome, Gor, and Arabia.  Mild corporal punishment and fetters are OK, but no sick-o mutilation stuff please.
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:iconkaitlynmorris:
KaitlynMorris Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015
Lovely page you have =)
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:iconjessica42:
Jessica42 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2015   Writer
Thank you for watching.
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